It’s so easy to get sucked into Instagram when you’re planning a wedding. You start off looking for a bit of inspiration and before you know it, you’ve saved hundreds of photos of perfect flowers, perfect tables, amazing venues and couples who somehow always seem to be standing in exactly the right light 😂
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting ideas from Instagram. It can be a great place to work out what you like (and sometimes what you definitely don’t like!), but please don’t feel like your wedding has to look like someone else’s. Some of my favourite photos I’ve taken over the years have come from things that weren’t planned at all. Someone laughing when they’re supposed to be looking at the camera, kids doing their own thing during the ceremony, the weather deciding it has other ideas, a veil going absolutely everywhere in the wind or someone getting emotional when nobody expected them to. Those are the bits I love photographing because they’re real and they’re completely yours.
I totally understand saving wedding photos you love too. It can be really useful for showing the sort of photography you’re drawn to, but there’s a big difference between inspiration and spending your wedding day trying to recreate somebody else’s photos. Your venue will be different, the light will be different and, most importantly, you’re different people. I’d much rather photograph the two of you genuinely laughing together than spend ages trying to get you into exactly the same position as a couple you’ve seen on Instagram.
That doesn’t mean I’m going to stand there and leave you wondering what on earth you’re supposed to do with your hands either 😂 I’ll give you some gentle guidance when you need it, but otherwise I want you to relax, enjoy yourselves and actually spend time together. You really don’t need to be good at posing or know what you’re doing in front of the camera.
Weddings aren't perfect and, to be honest, I don't think they need to be. People run late, someone forgets something, the weather changes, hair gets blown about, children get bored and guests mysteriously disappear the second they're needed for a group photo. That's just weddings.
Instagram normally shows you the beautiful finished photo. It doesn't show you what was happening five minutes before it was taken or the slight chaos happening just outside the frame. Years from now, you're probably not going to care that something wasn't quite where it should have been or that the weather didn't behave. You're going to remember how much you laughed, the speeches, having all your favourite people together and probably some completely random moment that wasn't part of the plan at all.
The same goes for all the things you feel like you should have at a wedding. You don't need a huge venue, mountains of flowers or everything perfectly colour coordinated unless that's genuinely what you want. I've photographed everything from big full-day celebrations to small registry office weddings and even a wedding at Monkey World. They're all completely different, and that's exactly how it should be.
Do the traditions you like and forget the ones you don't. Wear what you want, invite the people you actually want there and plan a day that feels like the two of you rather than one designed to look good on social media. If something goes slightly wrong, don't panic. There's a good chance it'll end up being one of the things you laugh about afterwards anyway.
That's a big part of why my approach to wedding photography is so relaxed. I'm there to photograph your day as it actually happens rather than constantly stopping things or trying to turn your wedding into a photoshoot. Of course we'll get some lovely photos of the two of you and I'll give you a bit of guidance when you need it, but I don't want you disappearing for hours when you could be enjoying your wedding with everyone you've invited.
I want you to look back at your photos and remember what the day actually felt like — the people, the laughs, the emotions and all those little moments you might not even have realised were happening at the time.
So use Instagram for inspiration, save the things you love and get excited about planning your day. Just don't put pressure on yourself to recreate somebody else's wedding.
Your wedding doesn't need to look like Instagram. It just needs to feel like you.
If you're planning a wedding in Berkshire or further afield and you're looking for natural, relaxed wedding photography without loads of awkward posing, I'd love to hear what you've got planned.